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Pink
January 05, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone who struggles with knowing who they are
Recommended to Pink past: institute it at a bookstore
The offset time I ever realized and admitted out loud that I feel angry was afterward I read this book. It was a offset in a series of books of realizing the feelings backside my frustrations, and helped me to realize a lot of what was simmering in me and so be able to learn how to deal with it. I never thought I was an angry person until I read this volume. I realized when I would say what I feel instead of acting out to a state of affairs in society to non tell someone what was really going on with me, information technology woul The start fourth dimension I ever realized and admitted out loud that I feel aroused was later on I read this book. It was a first in a serial of books of realizing the feelings backside my frustrations, and helped me to realize a lot of what was simmering in me and then exist able to learn how to bargain with information technology. I never thought I was an aroused person until I read this book. I realized when I would say what I feel instead of interim out to a situation in guild to not tell someone what was really going on with me, information technology would normally exist I feel aroused... for whatsoever reason. This may sound cliche, just I realized there was a lot of anger from my childhood that I had to deal with in counseling to let go and terminate making others around me endure for my prejudices, bitternesses and hangups. ...more
Jean Carlton
I had to look up the Due south.J. that follows the author's proper noun on my re-create. Order of Jesus.I ignored the God stuff in the book but it was there.
It's hard not to consider his personal life in reviewing this book, now that I've read numerous articles about information technology, as he was accused multiple times of sex crimes against female person students and at retreats.
I am interested in relationships, how people communicate (or don't), the idea of honesty and the discovery of 'who I am', which by the manner was a popular topi
I had to wait up the S.J. that follows the author's proper noun on my copy. Guild of Jesus.I ignored the God stuff in the book merely it was there.
It's hard not to consider his personal life in reviewing this book, now that I've read numerous articles most it, as he was accused multiple times of sexual practice crimes against female students and at retreats.
I am interested in relationships, how people communicate (or don't), the idea of honesty and the discovery of 'who I am', which by the way was a popular topic in the 1960's when this book was written. Though there are many basic facts near personality disorders and a list of 'games' we all play- masks we wear, I now wonder most HIS masks. Though he was non ever charged in these many allegations, it certainly colors my views on his blunt presentation of man behavior.
Ironically, p. 118 he states that he cannot justify judging others he can only "study my emotions to you with artlessness and honesty...reveal myself openly and honestly..try to be honest with myself and communicate myself honestly to you." Hmmm.

I practise similar this quote:
"In short, you can't be happy unless you are honest with yourself and you can't be honest with yourself unless you can be honest with another."

...more
W.B.
Jan 27, 2008 rated it information technology was ok
Recommends information technology for: peole with hamsters and cleaved habitrails
I gave this ii stars because I used my brother'due south copy of it to weigh downwards a lid on a Habitrail that had a broken snap. This kept the hamster in the cage. Hence the "okay" rating.

It might not take fared so well had at that place been no hamster.

I gave this ii stars considering I used my blood brother'south copy of it to weigh down a lid on a Habitrail that had a broken snap. This kept the hamster in the cage. Hence the "okay" rating.

It might non take fared then well had there been no hamster.

...more
Maria Montemayor
why am i afraid to tell you who i am? i am afraid to tell yous who i am, considering, if i tell yous who i am, yous may not similar who i am, and information technology's all that i have... ― john powell why am i afraid to tell you who i am? i am afraid to tell you who i am, considering, if i tell you who i am, you may not like who i am, and it's all that i have... ― john powell ...more
Manara.
Ouch!
so good
Comforting, beautifully overwhelming
Im in so much hurting 😂🤕so glad i constitute it
Definitely gonna reread
Sara Sherzad
April 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Information technology was weird and new merely surprisingly logical for me! ...I think it'due south from a very deep insight from the author...I learned alot but there always remains a "only"! Volition read it again.This book is a challenge and hard to understand for near of us as we live in a matetialistic world! Claiming yourself and read it. Information technology was weird and new only surprisingly logical for me! ...I think it'due south from a very deep insight from the writer...I learned alot but in that location always remains a "but"! Volition read information technology once again.This book is a challenge and difficult to understand for nigh of us as nosotros alive in a matetialistic world! Claiming yourself and read it. ...more
Jan
I don't think John Powell really answers the question "Why Am I Afraid to Tell Yous Who I Am?" He writes that we "act 'roles', wear 'masks', and play 'games'" to "protect ourselves from further vulnerability" (p. 5), but he doesn't really address where this vulnerability comes from. He says that our "'programming' is a result of the composite of previous influences in our lives (social programming) and our reaction to them (individual programming)" and that we take "something similar a portable record I don't think John Powell really answers the question "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?" He writes that nosotros "human activity 'roles', wear 'masks', and play 'games'" to "protect ourselves from further vulnerability" (p. v), but he doesn't really accost where this vulnerability comes from. He says that our "'programming' is a upshot of the composite of previous influences in our lives (social programming) and our reaction to them (private programming)" and that we have "something like a portable tape recorder" inside us (p. 8). Well, this is certainly an supposition, but what is the justification? The final chapter of the booklet contains "a catalogue of games and roles" people play (pp. 74—105). A improve title of the volume would have been "Common Games People Play". ...more
Bill
Sep 24, 2013 rated information technology actually liked it
Very interesting footling volume. Short and blunt in its descriptions of emotional health and dysfunction and how it impacts you lot and others.

In curt, y'all can't be happy unless you are honest with yourself and y'all can't be honest with yourself unless you can be honest with another.

Much to be said about that idea. As I said, a brusque, easy read although the font in this particular edition slows you lot way downwards and the verbiage can be a little much at times (this was published in 1969). It's repetitive (th

Very interesting lilliputian book. Curt and blunt in its descriptions of emotional health and dysfunction and how it impacts you and others.

In short, yous can't be happy unless you are honest with yourself and you lot can't be honest with yourself unless you can exist honest with another.

Much to be said near that idea. As I said, a short, easy read although the font in this detail edition slows you fashion down and the circumlocution can be a little much at times (this was published in 1969). Information technology'southward repetitive (though I think it'south repetitive in useful ways) and may or may not exist your cup of tea.

In some ways, information technology would probably serve equally a good reference/reminder to check out once in a while. I own very few books, just volition probably add this to the stack for just that purpose.

...more
Sara Alawneh
Salma Khattab
Highly recommend book to everyone who is going through a healing journey and self-discovery.
merely finished it and I want to read information technology again and again.
Meg
Dec 08, 2008 rated information technology really liked it
I had a HUGE aha moment reading this volume. A life changer! For me anyhow.
Annie
Written in the late 60s by a Jesuit priest, this book is a hotchpotch of ideas from several other books. Some I couldn't grasp and some sections I thought is outdated now. The author also has a loss of credibility due to the sexual abuse scandal ( wouldn't accept read the book if I knew this when I started), and then take it all with a liberal compression of salt.

(view spoiler)[
$.25 I liked below:

And so why am I afraid to tell you who I am?
"I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell y'all who I am, you lot ma

Written in the late 60s by a Jesuit priest, this book is a hotchpotch of ideas from several other books. Some I couldn't grasp and some sections I thought is outdated now. The writer also has a loss of credibility due to the sexual abuse scandal ( wouldn't have read the book if I knew this when I started), so take it all with a liberal pinch of salt.

(view spoiler)[
Bits I liked below:

So why am I afraid to tell you who I am?
"I am agape to tell yous who I am, because, if I tell yous who I am, y'all may not like who I am, and it is all that I have."

So how do you get a person who is confident of sharing who you are? In short,
- Recognise that you are always irresolute. Todays 'y'all' is not the same as yesterdays 'y'all'. Stay on the path of growth and non perfection.
- Work on your interiority, a person who has explored and experienced him/her self and accepts information technology physically, emotionally and intellectually. Become familiar with your senses, emotions, mind and will and body.
- Piece of work on your exteriority, become open up non only to oneself just to your environment. Develop deep and meaningful contact with the world exterior y'all. Heed to the voices around you.Requite of yourself freely and not out of compulsion.

How would you lot deal with a situation where you in a heated give-and-take and brainstorm to experience the stress of strong feelings?
1. Go aware of your emotions - what am i feeling?
2. Acknowledge your emotion - recognise how strong is the feeling
3. Investigate your emotion - how it got there? where it came from?
4. Report your emotion (no accusations or judgement, just state what you experience)
v. Integrate your emotion - decide what next to practise : try again? drop discussion for at present?
(hide spoiler)]

...more
Joshua
Diving headfirst into the games we play to keep people from being known and seen, this book was great and to the indicate...

"I am agape to tell you who I am, considering, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it is all that I accept."

Diving headfirst into the games we play to keep people from beingness known and seen, this book was great and to the indicate...

"I am agape to tell y'all who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may non similar who I am, and it is all that I have."

...more
Matthew MacLennan
"When I repress my emotions, my stomach keeps score..."

This book made me think harder about myself than whatever other book I have read in a long long time. It incorporates much insight from psychology and it tackles an essential component of our lives we otherwise wouldn't broach: recognizing our weaknesses and psychological tendencies and recognizing that nosotros can grow from those places of injure and fear.

It starts from understanding the human status, then progresses into personal growth. From pers

"When I repress my emotions, my tummy keeps score..."

This book made me think harder about myself than any other book I have read in a long long time. It incorporates much insight from psychology and information technology tackles an essential component of our lives we otherwise wouldn't broach: recognizing our weaknesses and psychological tendencies and recognizing that nosotros can abound from those places of hurt and fear.

It starts from understanding the human being condition, then progresses into personal growth. From personal growth, Powell branches out into interpersonal relationships. Since our emotions are so important to how nosotros tackle everything in life, the next chapter deals with emotions. The last 2 chapters are very revealing: "Methods of ego defense force" and "Catalog of games and roles". In other words: "excuses" and "games".

One of the nigh useful things nigh this volume is its Itemize of Games and Roles. This detailed listing at the end of the book outlines some of the games we play with others that exhilarate us. As you read, you begin to realize that all these types contain distortions and over/nether-emphases of i aspect of life. You also begin to place everyone you know into these roles! Even yourself... Here is the short listing alphabetically:

ane. ever correct
2. all middle
3. the body cute
4. the braggart
5. the clown
vi. the competitor
7. the conformist
eight. the crank
9. the cynic
10. deluded by grandeur
11. the dominator
12. the dreamer
13. the drinker/dope aficionado
xiv. the flirt
fifteen. delicate/handle with intendance
sixteen. the gossip
17. the hedonist
18. I...I...I... (egocentrism)
19. inferior and guilty
20. indecisive and uncertain
21. inflammable: handle with circumspection
22. the intellect (alias the egghead)
23. the loner
24. the martyr
25. the messiah
26. the mommy
27. peace at whatsoever price (meet 19. inferior and guilty)
28. ponce de leon
29. the poor mouth
xxx. the pouter
31. prejudice and bigotry
32. the procrastinator
33. resentfully yours
34. the sex flop (female) and the predatory male
35. suffering is the spice (cost) of life
36. the strong, silent type vs. the willing and wordy
37. the worrier

Although it is non hard to read, it is a difficult picayune volume; information technology is brusque but packs a punch. At some points I was very reflective. At some points I was inquisitive. At some points I was brought to a place where I could face my destructive tendencies. From here, I tin can grow to develop new habits and make changes in my life and relationships.

I look forward to reading information technology again.

Cheers for this book.

...more than
Tara
February 25, 2018 rated it liked it
I'k very conflicted well-nigh this volume. I was drawn to read information technology later on Melody Beattie recommended information technology as an activity in her chapter on communication in Codependent No More. It's small, easy to digest, and for the nearly part I did notice the information in it to be helpful. I'll acquit his breakdown of the five levels of communication with me when gauging how existent the relationships in my life are and how I can improve them. It also encouraged me to really wait at some truths I may exist fugitive and habits an I'm very conflicted about this book. I was drawn to read information technology after Melody Beattie recommended it as an activeness in her chapter on communication in Codependent No More. It'southward small, easy to digest, and for the most part I did find the information in it to be helpful. I'll conduct his breakdown of the five levels of communication with me when gauging how existent the relationships in my life are and how I can ameliorate them. Information technology also encouraged me to really wait at some truths I may be avoiding and habits and personality traits I've cultivated over the years to avoid both looking at and communicating my emotions. I did notice that when discussing masks people hibernate backside and ineffective ways people communicate to avoid revealing themselves, he generally simultaneously identifies the causes as inferiority complexes or low self-esteem and judges these people as immature which seemed a scrap harsh. He says himself that revealing someones mask to them can bring upwards quite a lot of emotions and be hard for someone to hear, yet he seems to discuss the possible masks with disdain rather than empathy which I can't imagine to make the situation easier.
Even so, my biggest business concern most this book was information I learned after finishing it ... that John Powell was accused of sexually abusing several of his students and eventually settled in these cases. I'g not sure how I experience near taking cocky-help advice from a sexual abuser and it'south kind of tainted anything valuable or valid I might have gained from the book.
...more
Heba
This book nailed near of my intrapersonal conflicts and got me depressed for a while..! Reading it, I think, would be saving me a lot of mess (and misery) in the futurity, that'due south why I'd recommend it to everyone.. This book nailed nigh of my intrapersonal conflicts and got me depressed for a while..! Reading information technology, I think, would be saving me a lot of mess (and misery) in the future, that'due south why I'd recommend it to everyone.. ...more than
Nicole
Jun 04, 2019 rated it liked it
Interesting insights, but it felt incomplete. He presented a problem, but didn't actually give an answer. Interesting insights, but it felt incomplete. He presented a problem, only didn't actually requite an answer. ...more
Rebecca
Jun 04, 2020 rated it really liked it
It's hard to tell people who you truly are if y'all aren't sure who you lot are yourself. Good brusque read, and I'll get out two quotes that kind of sum up the premise of the book:

"My person is not a petty difficult core inside of me, a piffling fully formed statue that is real and accurate, permanent and fixed; person rather implies a dynamic process. In other words, if you knew me yesterday, please do not think that it is the same person you are meeting today. I have experienced more of life, I have encount

It'south hard to tell people who you truly are if you aren't sure who you are yourself. Good short read, and I'll leave two quotes that kind of sum up the premise of the book:

"My person is not a little hard core within of me, a little fully formed statue that is real and authentic, permanent and fixed; person rather implies a dynamic process. In other words, if y'all knew me yesterday, delight practice non think that it is the same person you are meeting today. I have experienced more than of life, I have encountered new depths in those I beloved, I have suffered and prayed, and I am different."

"The suggestion is that the 'fully human being' person is 'his own person,' that he does not bend to every current of air which blows, that he is non at the mercy of all the pettiness, the meanness, the impatience and anger of others. Atmospheres do not transform him as much as he transforms them. [...]
In that location is naught implied here that suggests the repression of emotions or which denies the fullness of life in our senses and emotions. The suggestion is rather of residuum and integration of emotions. In the fully alive human person, at that place tin be no such affair equally either deadening or unconditionally surrendering to the senses of emotions.
The fully alive person listens to, is attuned to his senses and emotions, but surrendering to them would imply abdication of intellect and choice."

...more than
Joshua Piorier Sr.
It read kind of like a science periodical at first, at times slightly confusing as to the terminology used. None the less it was a fantastic read and was cause for me to open my dictionary from fourth dimension to fourth dimension. This volume was helpful and helps uncover some underlying issues the reader may be faced with and even what the reader may encounter from others. The book is short and to the point and guidance is minimal. Substantially don't be afraid to be exactly who yous are. I guess in that location are more books by John It read kind of like a science journal at get-go, at times slightly confusing equally to the terminology used. None the less it was a fantastic read and was cause for me to open my dictionary from time to time. This book was helpful and helps uncover some underlying bug the reader may be faced with and even what the reader may encounter from others. The book is curt and to the point and guidance is minimal. Essentially don't be afraid to be exactly who y'all are. I guess in that location are more books by John Powell, which the reader should definitely follow up on just, I found myself thinking, "Ok, what practice I do now?". In a sense I discovered more nearly myself and things I do, which I would've been completely bullheaded to; at times I wished there was more of a layman dialogue as to be amend understood by those who aren't equally familiar with the topic(south) as the author. I gave it four stars because it may be a hard read at first or for those who are venturing into the cocky-help genre but information technology was a great introduction to John Powell's piece of work and a great tool to have on the bookshelf. I will exist revisiting this book again in the future for certain. ...more
Rachel
October 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view information technology, click here. Spoiler alert: I'm afraid to tell you who I am because if I tell you who I am and you don't accept me, that'south all I've got. This is from the first few pages and it rings And so true. This book was eye-opening for me in the sense that information technology hit the nail on areas where I am not honest to others or myself for various reasons. It helped me exist a bit more introspective, but as well figure out how to communicate conspicuously what I'thousand feeling and why I'm feeling. And ultimately, how to move forward into maturity, as i Spoiler alert: I'm agape to tell you who I am because if I tell y'all who I am and you don't accept me, that's all I've got. This is from the showtime few pages and it rings SO true. This book was heart-opening for me in the sense that it striking the nail on areas where I am not honest to others or myself for diverse reasons. It helped me be a bit more introspective, but likewise effigy out how to communicate clearly what I'k feeling and why I'chiliad feeling. And ultimately, how to move forward into maturity, every bit in I am responsible for my feelings - to react or act? Am I going to react to the earth, or deed as myself. And the keen thing is who I was yesterday is NOT who I am today. I am changing daily as I learn and grow more than, as life happens effectually me. It'due south a pretty good read. The catalog of dissimilar types of games and roles people play (to avoid authenticity) is fascinating. I have to be careful though non to suddenly turn everything into labels though - like I'k this and you're that. That'due south non the point. The point is to identify where I run across myself, reflect on the truth, and move forward toward healthier, authentic, LOVING relationships. ...more
Beverley Sylvester
3.5 stars. There are many parts of this book that I found very informative and thought-provoking, and I would definitely say it is worth the read because of this. I especially appreciated the content well-nigh dissimilar forms and levels of communication and the effects of them. At that place were, however, some problematic/frustrating parts of the text where I felt Powell did not acknowledge that mental wellness tin play a big role in people'south emotions (he states that people have control over their feelings iii.5 stars. In that location are many parts of this book that I found very informative and thought-provoking, and I would definitely say it is worth the read considering of this. I especially appreciated the content about unlike forms and levels of communication and the furnishings of them. There were, however, some problematic/frustrating parts of the text where I felt Powell did non admit that mental wellness can play a large role in people'southward emotions (he states that people take control over their feelings, which often is true and is important, and frequently is not completely truthful for people struggling with mental health). Additionally, Powell almost e'er uses males in his examples, which would not carp me except that the just time he uses females as examples are for extremely stereotypical cases (ex: when discussing people who are judgmental due to prudishness, he uses a female as the case of a sexually repressed prude). ...more than
Julianna
If you desire to increase your cocky-awareness, this is the book for you. Information technology's the book for everyone, really. Prepare to exist made uncomfortable in the all-time way possible by facing the reality of poor bounty methods you may exist using to back up a fragile ego. Change starts with acknowledging that you take a trouble, and Powell volition tell you lot about all the advice bug that you most likely didn't even know y'all had. In addition to pointing them out, he provides helpful insight on how to ov If you want to increase your cocky-sensation, this is the book for you. It's the book for anybody, really. Prepare to be fabricated uncomfortable in the best way possible by facing the reality of poor compensation methods you may exist using to support a delicate ego. Modify starts with acknowledging that you have a problem, and Powell will tell you nigh all the communication problems that you lot almost likely didn't even know you had. In addition to pointing them out, he provides helpful insight on how to overcome these problems by emphasizing the importance of being open and honest with ourselves as well every bit others. Thus, improving our communication and relationships every bit a result. ...more than
Christy
The encompass and back of this book remind of the final homo, Cassandra from Dr. Who. 🤣

An okay read that explains many different advice styles or "games and roles" but more than importantly the necessity of overcoming these tendencies through continued emotional growth and honesty with others besides equally ourselves.

"The fault dear Brutus, is not with our stars, but with ourselves...We can rise above the dust of daily battle that chokes and blinds so many of us; and this is precisely what is asked o

The cover and dorsum of this book remind of the last human, Cassandra from Dr. Who. 🤣

An okay read that explains many different communication styles or "games and roles" merely more than importantly the necessity of overcoming these tendencies through continued emotional growth and honesty with others every bit well as ourselves.

"The mistake dear Brutus, is not with our stars, but with ourselves...We can ascent above the grit of daily boxing that chokes and blinds so many of us; and this is precisely what is asked of us in the procedure of growth as a person."

...more
Ishan
May 13, 2019 rated it it was ok
I'k not religious, only this was all the same interesting. Yet, it was very vague. Maybe I know myself a scrap meliorate (though that'south debatable) only I have no thought how I might get past my issues.

Now I observe out he was accused of sexual crimes. Sounds like someone's repressing something there. Hmm. That has caused me to take a star off my rating, as it makes it difficult to have anything he says as at all honest (funny that)

I'm not religious, but this was yet interesting. Nevertheless, it was very vague. Perhaps I know myself a fleck meliorate (though that's debatable) but I have no idea how I might get past my problems.

Now I find out he was defendant of sexual crimes. Sounds like someone's repressing something there. Hmm. That has acquired me to have a star off my rating, as information technology makes information technology difficult to take anything he says as at all honest (funny that)

...more
Paul
Sep 25, 2020 rated it it was astonishing
A remarkable book, the more then far having been written in the late 60s. There is a lot of recovery literature, broadly speaking, that is either tacitly dependent on this or repeated Powell'southward work despite non being familiar with it.

The challenge to honestly share my emotions with people day in and mean solar day out is terrifying. Apparently it is true that I have paid and am paying a steep price for living the way I have... simply change is terrifying.

A remarkable book, the more so far having been written in the late 60s. There is a lot of recovery literature, broadly speaking, that is either tacitly dependent on this or repeated Powell'south work despite non being familiar with it.

The challenge to honestly share my emotions with people 24-hour interval in and day out is terrifying. Patently it is truthful that I take paid and am paying a steep toll for living the manner I have... but alter is terrifying.

...more than
Martin Sisolak
Dec 08, 2021 rated information technology really liked it
Memorable quote:

I take to exist free and able to say my thoughts to you, to tell you almost my judgements and values, to expose to yous my fears and frustrations, to acknowledge to you lot my failures and shames, to share my triumphs, before I can really be sure what it is that I am and tin go. I must be able to tell you who I am before I can know who I am. And I must know who I am before I tin can act truly, that is, in accord with my truthful cocky.

Joy
Jun fourteen, 2017 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Nevertheless processing ... merely it came up throughout the book ... that seemed to imply that we are all basically horribly fuct up ... that if 1 has the attending focused on Truth (on that which does not change or change in any way) and then what the body does or what it goes through are secondary to THAT/Truth.
Bennie
The book as a whole is a solid overview of how we view ourselves vs how nosotros want others to view usa. The real meat of the book are the middle chapters on interpersonal relationships and dealing with our emotions that I would consider required reading for everyone — or at least people like me who have a difficult fourth dimension relating to people or making genuine connections with people
Ronald J. Pauleus
John provided challenging insight into the human mind and its need for advice. There is no growth without us communicating ourselves to others honestly and consistently.

"The human destiny of man, non perfection but growth."

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"أني أخشى أن أقول لك من أنا, لأني اذا فعلت ذلك, قد لا يروق لك من أنا , وذلك جلُّ ما أملك" — 2 likes
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